Admitting the Truth

Admitting the Truth

Imagine the awfulness of it all. For months I have denied that there was anything that I could do about my eating.'It’s the drugs I'm on at the moment', I would say, 'steroids are known to make it virtually impossible to lose weight'.

Then I read a book called Stopping by David Kundzt. Let hasten to say that it was not about weight and losing it, but about putting quiet moments in the day – maybe just a few seconds, sometimes longer. It also talked about longer periods of quiet, but advised to start small. The reasoning behind it all was that for whatever reason, we all tend to keep busy doing something and we tend to forget who we are and the warning messages that our bodies may be giving us.

It is not difficult to do. In some instances, it is just a case of taking a deep breath and remember where you are. In others, it may be taking pleasure in the mundane work you are doing. In a way, it is very like mindfulness.

I thought I would give it a try. The awful thing for me was that, in those moments of quiet, I suddenly realised in one of those Eureka moments, that I was still eating too much for my size, and making excuses for it. So, I must now consider what I now am eating (and drinking) and cut back accordingly.

The other 'revelation' that has come from it so far is that I am spending far too much time on these blessed Facebook games. Instead of resting between one activity before I do something else, I ‘reward’ myself with ‘just a couple of games’. Only it isn't just a couple. It draws you in and before you know it, half an hour has passed and all the things you intended to do cannot be done for the day. Oh, the shame of it! At my age, I should know better.

The good thing is that I've now noticed these things and can work towards improvements. It’s been going on for some time now. The struggle has been admitting it.