What to Do With All This Energy?

What do you do when you seem to have more energy that you have had for years?

Well, first you don’t believe it. For quite a while now I have been operating on the principle of doing a little bit of whatever I felt able to do, then resting for a short while, then doing a bit more. It became a little frustrating, but I had learned from bitter experience that if I disregarded this advice that I had been given then I would pay for it in tiredness and not being able to do anything.

Then, after my operation last year, I could sense things had changed a bit. I felt better in myself, but still knew I had to be careful over what I was doing. Indecision then became the name of the game. I was never very sure what I was capable of doing and, in a way frightened that if I overdid it, it would be back to the beginning again. So, for a long time, I was taking baby steps of progress, not sure whether I was doing the right thing or not.

This year, and especially over the past couple of weeks, it’s like the energy has gone into overload. Whether the extra light with the clocks going back and the Winter giving way to Spring has been a feature, I really don’t know, but it feels quite astonishing.

One of the things that really gripped me was the Facebook games. I felt, ‘well if I can’t do anything else, I can do those.’ The problem was they were gripping me and I found I was occupying large amounts of time to them during a day (not several hours, but around a couple). I knew it wasn't good for me but was too fearful to change. It’s when you start to do the games that are so obviously for children that you have to start thinking, ‘what is going on?’

Last Saturday, all that changed. I made the decision to stop playing Facebook games and to concentrate on my interests; our house, my calligraphy and my writing course. All these had been suffering before. The past few days have been interesting. I have had more time and have been able to concentrate on those aforementioned things. I have done things that I have wanted to get on with for some time. Even housework is getting done. I might even spring clean!

I'm not saying I don’t feel tired. I do! And I'm ready for bed in the evening. But it’s not the bone aching weariness that I used to go through and my life has more colour. As I improve in health, my confidence grows and in that growth, I find I am accomplishing more than I have done in a long while. Long may it continue.